“Don’t chuck your muck in my dustbin, my dustbin’s full.”

The best friend has thwarted me with her powers of persuasion. “Writing through this experience may really help you ‘see’ what you’re experiencing, and it could help others who may someday go through the same thing.” I’m grateful for the wisdom and counsel in my life.

I would say that I, like many others before and alongside me, have an overflowing dustbin. What I mean to say is that life has been a series of mishaps, misfortunes, disappointments, and wrenching heartaches. Now here and there it has been topped with a scoop of  happiness, a splash of wonder, and drenched in grace. All the “muck” or the things that I would consider to have made my life a living Hell are finally beginning to spill over the rim. Do I empty my dustpan, or simply purchase a larger one?

To gain insight may be my primary motive for expounding on this life I’ve been given, but I believe that I will gain so much more than satisfaction based on my wayward thoughts. I don’t know that this dustbin will be cleaned out completely. Muck has to go somewhere. Healing begins with taking an inward look (at least in this case). This could be the very factor I’ve been searching for. Here’s what I mean…

I have an extremely difficult time sympathizing with anyone who embarks on a tale of their tragedy. It’s like there are these apathetic filters covering my ears, and they always seem to weed out sob stories. My life has often felt like one large sob-worthy saga, but I’ve had to be strong (or so I thought). Why am I so set against digging through my emotions to feel true sympathy? It’s a frank possibility that I have been unwilling to even wave at my emotions, much less try to approach or confront them!

So here I am. Finally digging through my dustbin of muck. You know how sometimes you throw something away, but you didn’t mean to get rid of it? Or you had forgotten that you discarded it? I believe that somewhere in all this mess, I will find beauty. Small treasures. Things forgotten and remembered.